Redneck Oneliners

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
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