A vet gets a midnight phone call from a farmer. "I've got a very constipated cow - been like it for days, it's in great pain, what can I do?"
Sleepy vet, knackered after working all day and all evening, says: "If you've got one of those small bottles of highly concentrated milk of magnesia, get that down it and I'll call you in the morning to see how it is."
Next morning the vet rings: "How's the constipated cow this morning?"
"Cow?" says the farmer. "I said cat."
"Oh God," says the vet, "did you give it the concentrate?"
"Yes, I got the whole bottleful down its throat, I used a small funnel."
"Oh Jesus," says the vet. "how is the cat?"
"It's out in the garden."
"Dead I suppose?" said the vet.
"God no," said the farmer, "it's out there with four of his mates, two digging and two filling in."