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Dirty Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris' penis has abs.
By: Eric Mcintire - 04-29-2012
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
By: ke2ral1l - 04-29-2012
Chuck Norris once brought a man back to life twice and killed him three times because the man had the audacity to die before Chuck Norris was finished killing him.
By: nappallikei - 05-12-2012
Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver. MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart. Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
By: anarchy5c - 04-29-2012
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
By: Lydia Maxfield - 04-29-2012
God modeled his beard look after Chuck Norris.
By: moblavashe - 04-29-2012
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
By: blogdeyuceluh - 04-29-2012
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
By: Juana Bigham - 04-29-2012
Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.
By: Grzesiukp9 - 05-12-2012
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
By: Jerry Medlock - 05-18-2012
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
By: injektib6 - 05-18-2012
Chuck Norris doesnt have sex. Sex has Chuck Norris.
By: Johnathan R. - 11-11-2012
chuck norris once squeezed a lemon, got kiwi juice, put the kiwi juice the oven and it would be the best damn cupcake you ever had
By: panerolalh - 04-29-2012
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people……then it exploded
By: Jo Halford - 04-29-2012
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
By: patatastraigoyw - 04-29-2012
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
By: pemerasanco - 04-29-2012
During WWII Chuck Norris was drafted into the Army. He mercilessly roundhouse kicked everyone to death including Ally soldiers. Their resting place is now known as Arlington Cemetery.
By: Isabel Bounds - 04-29-2012
Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
By: Donna Reading - 05-12-2012
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
By: homus4g3wt3 - 05-12-2012
Chuck Norris' cock is the only thing that's ever took a beating from Chuck Norris and survived.
By: tatguy26 - 11-27-2012