Clean Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Dinosaurs went extinct because they heard Chuck Norris was coming.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Chuck Norris donates blood, just not his own

Chuck norris is so fast that he can run around the world once and kick himself in the back of the head

If Chuck Norris catches you writing jokes about him, he'll smash your face into the keyjhesreqdzsf

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Iinternet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

In middle school chuck Norris was assigned an essay about what courage was. He got an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with his name on it.

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.