Clean Cannibal Jokes
What did the first cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown?
Does this taste funny to you?
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $250.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why such a price difference for the Politician?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of sh*t, it takes all morning."
An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums.
"What are those drums?" asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country.
The guide turned to him and said "No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop."
They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears.
"Do as I do! Very important!""intoned the guide with great urgency.
"Why? What does this mean?" asked the panicked anthropologist.
"Drums stop! Next come guitar solo!"
The children of Amazon cannibal tribes think Chuck Norris is the Easter Bunny because he hides body parts for them to find every Easter morning.
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu...
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politician?"
The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"
Three explorers became lost in the jungle and wandered for days with no food and little water...
One day, just as they were finally about to give up, they crawled into a clearing and there right in front of them stood a Cannibal's Restaurant.
Out front near the entrance was a large menu board. With the little energy they had left, they dragged themselves across the clearing and looked up to see the following menu:
"Par boiled Priest $12.00
Roast Lion Hunter $14.00
Steamed Politician $198.50"
They struggled into the establishment, dragged themselves to a table, and a waiter came to take their order. Before they ordered, one of the explorers asked the waiter, "Can you help me understand your menu? The first two items are priced about the same, but the third item, the politician, is priced so much higher. Why is that?"
"Are you kidding?" replied the waiter. "Did you ever try to CLEAN one of those suckers?"
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his friend in the jungle?
He got so excited, he threw up his arms!
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."