Mitt Romney has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here, " says the devil. " You are on my list. . . but I have no room for you." "You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do." "I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you, I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.
Mitt thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the door to the first room: in it was Richard Nixon in a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. - Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" Mitt said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all could do was break rocks all day!" commented Mitt.
The devil opened a third door. In the room Mitt saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Mitt Romney looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"