10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as "my email@example.com" and refer to your children as "client applications".
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!"
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"
New Old Sayings
Anywhere you hang your @ is home.
The e-mail of the species is deadlier than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
Great groups from little icons grow.
Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
C:\ is the root of all directories.
Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
The modem is the message.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
A chat has nine lives.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
There's no place like ( http://www.)home(.com)
Know what to expect before you connect.
Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
Give a man (or for that matter anyone) a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use The Net and he won't bother you for weeks.