Funniest Dirty Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can impregnate you via anal or oral sex.
47 167 167 -167
Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
45 99 99 -99
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
33 63 63 -63
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
32 76 76 -76
One night Chuck Norris had a pissing contest outside of a bar. He won when his opponents drowned.
26 64 64 -64
in 1974 Chuck Norris was charged with killing 15 students during a school shooting...with a spitball
26 46 46 -46
Chuck Norris became a 5 time Olympic gold medalist in pole vaulting using only his penis.
25 31 31 -31
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
22 30 30 -30
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
21 35 35 -35
Chuck Norris doesn't pay for sex. Sex pays for Chuck Norris
20 36 36 -36
They had to build a second afterlife for all of the people Chuck Norris killed.
17 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
16 38 38 -38
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
16 32 32 -32
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its scientific term: Jupiter.
15 33 33 -33
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
14 26 26 -26
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
13 19 19 -19
Chuck Norris once masturbated in a junk yard.

Nine months later Optimus Prime was born.
11 19 19 -19
Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands...... when he left it was renamed to the islands.
11 25 25 -25
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
11 25 25 -25
Chuck Norris died in 1985. The Grim Reaper has not had the courage to tell him yet.
9 21 21 -21
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