Funniest Dirty Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can impregnate you via anal or oral sex.
48 180 180 -180
Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
44 108 108 -108
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
34 68 68 -68
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
28 82 82 -82
Chuck Norris became a 5 time Olympic gold medalist in pole vaulting using only his penis.
28 34 34 -34
One night Chuck Norris had a pissing contest outside of a bar. He won when his opponents drowned.
26 68 68 -68
in 1974 Chuck Norris was charged with killing 15 students during a school shooting...with a spitball
25 49 49 -49
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
24 32 32 -32
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
23 37 37 -37
Chuck Norris doesn't pay for sex. Sex pays for Chuck Norris
21 39 39 -39
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
19 41 41 -41
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its scientific term: Jupiter.
18 36 36 -36
They had to build a second afterlife for all of the people Chuck Norris killed.
16 26 26 -26
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
16 36 36 -36
Chuck Norris once masturbated in a junk yard.

Nine months later Optimus Prime was born.
15 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands...... when he left it was renamed to the islands.
15 31 31 -31
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
15 31 31 -31
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
13 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris died in 1985. The Grim Reaper has not had the courage to tell him yet.
12 26 26 -26
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
12 30 30 -30
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