Funniest Dirty Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can impregnate you via anal or oral sex.
44 162 162 -162
Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
41 93 93 -93
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
32 72 72 -72
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
31 61 61 -61
One night Chuck Norris had a pissing contest outside of a bar. He won when his opponents drowned.
25 63 63 -63
in 1974 Chuck Norris was charged with killing 15 students during a school shooting...with a spitball
24 44 44 -44
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
22 34 34 -34
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
21 29 29 -29
Chuck Norris became a 5 time Olympic gold medalist in pole vaulting using only his penis.
20 26 26 -26
Chuck Norris doesn't pay for sex. Sex pays for Chuck Norris
19 35 35 -35
They had to build a second afterlife for all of the people Chuck Norris killed.
18 22 22 -22
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
17 37 37 -37
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
15 31 31 -31
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
14 18 18 -18
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
14 24 24 -24
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its scientific term: Jupiter.
13 31 31 -31
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
13 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris died in 1985. The Grim Reaper has not had the courage to tell him yet.
12 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands...... when he left it was renamed to the islands.
12 24 24 -24
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
12 36 36 -36
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