Funniest Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today.
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
13 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
13 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
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Chuck Norris can ride his bike with no handlebars..............or wheels
13 13 13 -13
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
13 13 13 -13
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
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70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
13 33 33 -33
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
13 13 13 -13
when chuck Norris went to find Bigfoot, Bigfoot copied him self to escape from chuck
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Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter
13 15 15 -15
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about.
12 30 30 -30
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.
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Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die.
12 14 14 -14
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
12 12 12 -12
Chuck Norris is a former #1 draft pick in the NFL. He immediately retired when they told him in training camp that a round house kick to the face was not a legal method of tackling. Enraged, he cursed the franchise to never ever make the playoffs. We know them as the Detroit Lions.
12 12 12 -12
Chuck Norris' prostate has eaten dozens of doctor's middle fingers.
12 20 20 -20
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
12 12 12 -12
chuck norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 magikarp and beat the whole game
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