Funniest Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
16 18 18 -18
They had to build a second afterlife for all of the people Chuck Norris killed.
16 26 26 -26
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
16 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
16 18 18 -18
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
15 19 19 -19
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
15 19 19 -19
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
15 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
15 19 19 -19
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
15 17 17 -17
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
15 19 19 -19
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
15 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
14 32 32 -32
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
14 18 18 -18
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
14 24 24 -24
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
14 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone
14 14 14 -14
If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying.
14 20 20 -20
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
14 14 14 -14
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
14 14 14 -14
Chuck Norris was kicked off the show "Extreme Couponing" the producers couldn't stand watching entire grocery chains file bankruptcy because of Chuck Norris.
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