Funniest Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't pay for sex. Sex pays for Chuck Norris
21 41 41 -41
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
21 25 25 -25
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
21 21 21 -21
In middle school chuck Norris was assigned an essay about what courage was. He got an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with his name on it.


21 25 25 -25
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
19 43 43 -43
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
19 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
19 23 23 -23
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.
19 23 23 -23
One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its scientific term: Jupiter.
18 40 40 -40
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
18 24 24 -24
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
18 22 22 -22
Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands...... when he left it was renamed to the islands.
18 34 34 -34
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
17 37 37 -37
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
17 19 19 -19
When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
17 17 17 -17
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
17 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris once masturbated in a junk yard.

Nine months later Optimus Prime was born.
16 26 26 -26
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
16 20 20 -20
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
16 20 20 -20
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
16 30 30 -30
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