Funniest Dirty Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
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Q: What is the quickest way to a man's heart?
A: Chuck Norris' Fist
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Chuck Norris doesnt have sex. Sex has Chuck Norris.
3 7 7 -7
Chuck Norris once put on an armor as a joke since the very notion of Chuck Norris wearing armor for protection is rediculous. One night, after taking his armor off and having a furious masturbation session, some jizz landed on his armor. Two weeks later Master Chief was born and the Halo franchise had found its hero for their videogame.
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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
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Chuck norris's dick has a little dick. His little dick is bigger than your dick.
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When women have sex with God, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!!!
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chuck norris once squeezed a lemon, got kiwi juice, put the kiwi juice the oven and it would be the best damn cupcake you ever had
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The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
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Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver. MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart. Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
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Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
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Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Chuck Norris will beat his ass and take it.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
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Chuck Norris doesnt count it as sex unless the woman dies.
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Chuck norris doesnt have ball hair, hair doesnt grow on steel
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Chuck Norris' cock is the only thing that's ever took a beating from Chuck Norris and survived.
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Death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' penis has abs.
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