Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes
That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
Chuck Norris once screamed "bloody murder" in sign language for the hearing impaired.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down. It knows better.
Chuck Norris has only farted once. The last time that he did, the universe was created.
chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris checks his facebook on a typewriter.
The reason God began calling himself "God" was because the name "Chuck Norris" was already taken.