Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
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"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
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Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
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Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
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Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
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When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
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Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Chuck Norris CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And he can do it with one hand.
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Chuck Norris once screamed "bloody murder" in sign language for the hearing impaired.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
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If Chuck Norris is running late, time slows down. It knows better.
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Chuck Norris has only farted once. The last time that he did, the universe was created.
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chuck norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
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Chuck Norris checks his facebook on a typewriter.
10 16 16 -16
The reason God began calling himself "God" was because the name "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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