Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
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chuck norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 magikarp and beat the whole game
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks people in the face first and asks questions later.
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Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
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Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.
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Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "......afraid of Chuck Norris."
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They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven.
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Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
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Chuck Norris house trained his dog by 1 roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
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When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
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Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.
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