Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris' prostate has eaten dozens of doctor's middle fingers.
While building a house in Kansas, Chuck Norris was dared to dig a hole as deep as he could. Chuck Norris dug so deep that the next day there were Squirrels with slanted eyes on his front lawn.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
chuck norris once played pokemon black, caught a lvl 0 magikarp and beat the whole game
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "......afraid of Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Christians call it the Rapture. Chuck norris calls it cleaning his house.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
When a jury found Chuck Norris guilty of murder, the judge sentenced himself to death rather than sentencing Chuck Norris to anything.
Chuck Norris has never lost his virginity. Chuck Norris never loses.
Chuck Norris action figures have been banned in the United States and Mexico due to the roundhouse action related to eye loss in children.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.