Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying.
Chuck Norris can ride his bike with no handlebars..............or wheels
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Chuck Norris was kicked off the show "Extreme Couponing" the producers couldn't stand watching entire grocery chains file bankruptcy because of Chuck Norris.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die.
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about.
Chuck Norris is a former #1 draft pick in the NFL. He immediately retired when they told him in training camp that a round house kick to the face was not a legal method of tackling. Enraged, he cursed the franchise to never ever make the playoffs. We know them as the Detroit Lions.
Chuck Norris' prostate has eaten dozens of doctor's middle fingers.