Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Chuck Norris was kicked off the show "Extreme Couponing" the producers couldn't stand watching entire grocery chains file bankruptcy because of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today.
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Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
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Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.
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Chuck Norris can ride his bike with no handlebars..............or wheels
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Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
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when chuck Norris went to find Bigfoot, Bigfoot copied him self to escape from chuck
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Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter
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Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.
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Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die.
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There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is a former #1 draft pick in the NFL. He immediately retired when they told him in training camp that a round house kick to the face was not a legal method of tackling. Enraged, he cursed the franchise to never ever make the playoffs. We know them as the Detroit Lions.
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