Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

For every movie about Vietnam starring Chuck Norris, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more "Missing in Action" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed.
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Chuck Norris uses beer coasters as shurikens.
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How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.
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Faster than a speeding bullet ...... more powerful than a locomotive ...... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
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Chuck Norris was orginally casted as the main character for salt but then they changed it to Angelia Jolie, look at her face now.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
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The moment were you dont capitalize CHUCK NORRIS is the moment when chuck norris decides that your dieing at that very moment.... But this is only possible if you havent pissed CHUCK NORRIS off already... Because you would already be dead.
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TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry when he cuts them up.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Martin Luther King may have had a dream, but Chuck Norris had a body count.
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The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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Chuck Norris graduated Summa Cum Laude at Harvard after only 1 class.
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a long time ago chuck norris kicked the world so hard that its still spinning today.
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The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't count his chicken before they hatch. He cracks them and eats them.
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