Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
Chuck Norris was banned from competing in the National Karate Championship. Everyone he competed with the year before ended up in the Special Olympics.
At Toys "R" Us, Barbie and the Chuck Norris actions figures must be at least eight aisles apart by law. After all, it is a children’s store.
Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter.
Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.
Contrary To Popular Belief, Chuck Norris Won Super Bowl 46. By Phone