Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
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A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
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Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.
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Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
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Chuck Norris was banned from competing in the National Karate Championship. Everyone he competed with the year before ended up in the Special Olympics.
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At Toys "R" Us, Barbie and the Chuck Norris actions figures must be at least eight aisles apart by law. After all, it is a children’s store.
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Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child.
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Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
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Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
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Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
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Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.
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All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter.
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Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
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Chuck Norris's sweat has burned holes in concrete.
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Contrary To Popular Belief, Chuck Norris Won Super Bowl 46. By Phone
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