Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
19 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
18 32 32 -32
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
18 20 20 -20
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
18 24 24 -24
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
18 20 20 -20
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
17 21 21 -21
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
17 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
17 21 21 -21
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
17 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
17 19 19 -19
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
17 21 21 -21
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
17 19 19 -19
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
16 24 24 -24
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
16 20 20 -20
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
15 19 19 -19
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone
15 15 15 -15
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
15 15 15 -15
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
15 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today.
15 15 15 -15
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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