Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
16 22 22 -22
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
16 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
16 18 18 -18
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
15 19 19 -19
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
15 19 19 -19
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
15 17 17 -17
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
15 17 17 -17
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
15 19 19 -19
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
15 17 17 -17
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
15 17 17 -17
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
14 32 32 -32
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
14 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
14 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
14 28 28 -28
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
14 18 18 -18
If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying.
14 20 20 -20
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
14 14 14 -14
When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
14 14 14 -14
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
14 20 20 -20
Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today.
14 14 14 -14
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