Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes
As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
when chuck Norris went to find Bigfoot, Bigfoot copied him self to escape from chuck
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.
If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris was kicked off the show "Extreme Couponing" the producers couldn't stand watching entire grocery chains file bankruptcy because of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Jack Links Beef Jerky wanted to film a series of "Messin' with Chuck Norris" commercials. They later had to settle for Sasquatch because they couldn't find any actors dumb enough to mess with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Chuck Norris was what Willis was talking about.