Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
Chuck Norris died yesterday. He's fine today.