Funniest Clean Celebrity Jokes

When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
17 17 17 -17
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
17 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
16 20 20 -20
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
16 20 20 -20
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
16 30 30 -30
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
16 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
16 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
16 18 18 -18
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
15 19 19 -19
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
15 19 19 -19
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
15 23 23 -23
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
15 19 19 -19
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
15 17 17 -17
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
15 19 19 -19
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
15 21 21 -21
Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
14 32 32 -32
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
14 18 18 -18
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
14 24 24 -24
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
14 18 18 -18
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone
14 14 14 -14
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